Filed under: Ain't Nobody Got Time for That, I'm not judging I'm just saying, Off Court Shenanigans, Victoria Azarenka, WTA
If I could go back in a time machine to the 2012 US Open and tell the WTA that celebrating Redfoo’s birthday was a terrible idea, I’d do so in two seconds. Since he wasn’t forced upon us enough during the Australian Open fortnight, or even over the past six months, ESPN Playbook interviewed him upon his return from Melbourne. He talks about why he loves tennis, Azarenka…and other things.
On how he supports Azarenka:
When I root for stuff, I watch to see what she does and then I just do it louder…
It’s [also] knowing to stay out of the way. It’s just understanding when she’s focused and in her mode that she’s not going to be the same way. Once she puts her headphones on, you can forget it.
On where his passion for tennis came from:
My mother actually used to play. When she was pregnant with me, she was playing tennis. They make a joke — I don’t know if it’s true — her water broke on the tennis court…
When I was born, I lived with my dad for two years. I was always watching him on a tennis court as a kid, he was a fanatic. Boris Becker would come to the house and play chess. They’re still friends with Monica Seles…
On his and Azarenka’s….whatever they have:
Yeah, I think so [that they're dating]. It’s pretty out there. I hope so! We don’t talk about it that much, but if I saw her with another dude, I wouldn’t be happy about it. We just try to do our thing and have fun and laugh.
I don’t think I’m physically capable of making comments about him anymore, so I present you with this GIF of my emotions:
Consider this my white flag.
Filed under: Ain't Nobody Got Time for That, Caroline Wozniacki, Dramz, I'm not judging I'm just saying, WTA
Let me preface this by saying that, if you’re a tennis fan, you’re already aware of the fact that Caroline Wozniacki is painfully unfunny.
In response to being called boring by some members of the media at the 2011 Australian Open, Karolina attempted to turn the tables on them. She felt like they always asked her the same questions, so she gave them all the answers. All at once. That same year, at the same event, she spun a yarn that a scrape on her knee was the result of a fight with a kangaroo.
Filed under: Ain't Nobody Got Time for That, I'm not judging I'm just saying, WTA
Thought we were rid of the crotch-grabbing, animal-print wearing, afro-rocking, pseudo musician?
Redfoo, one half (along with his nephew, SkyBlu) of the American electropop duo LMFAO, has made his glorious return to the WTA this week in Istanbul. Behold.
Redfoo has been a huge presence in women’s tennis since he was thrust upon us at the US Open. I don’t know how this circus began, to be frank. I mean, did Adam Levine not answer the pay phone? Did Taylor Swift say that she was never, ever getting with the WTA…like ever? I don’t get it. First, we had him lurking in off court features and videos. Next, he was tweeting players, in their boxes and has apparently become great friends with Victoria Azarenka. (The girl does like Nickelback after all, leave her be.)
But it didn’t stop there. We now have the Party Rock Open, an entire $50,000 ITF Pro Circuit event owned and organized by him. Sponsorship and promotion? Great. BUT COACHING? He has recently began coaching Japanese junior Ayaka Okuno, practicing several hours a day with her in Las Vegas. “I kind of use the Phil Jackson approach which I teach her some vague things – I teach her how to think for herself on the court,” he said. “She’s really good at self-analyzing.”
He’s also planning on launching his own line of tennis clothing and told Barbara Schett in an interview with Eurosport this week that he would like to play in some Futures events.
I have mixed feeling on him. I mean, his ‘music,’ if we’re going to loosely use the term, is terrible. I feel like I need to shower after looking at his hair. (I mean, who *knows* where it’s been?) However, the guy seems to dig women’s tennis. He’s actually sort of knowledgeable about it, enjoys it and the tennis community has been begging for someone in the mainstream media to promote women’s tennis.
On September 21st, LMFAO released a statement announcing their hiatus, with Redfoo stating that his and his nephew’s careers are going in different directions. Is his direction WTA global brand ambassador? If the WTA wants to party rock and shuffle, I guess I can deal. At least he’s better than Donald Trump.
People tend to bash the WTA post-US Open Asian swing as a breeding ground for tanking, vulturing and other such shenanigans. I am not one of those people.
The highlight of the Asian swing is the International level event in Guangzhou, taking place this week. They give their winner a hideous flower pot.
The tournament also has a history of quality officiating.
Nonetheless, I have found reason to validate Guangzhou’s existence as a WTA event. This reason is Google Translate.
The draw in 2010:
It got better in 2011:
Anastasjia ‘Stuffed baby doll Steward’ Sevastova is my personal favorite.
In 2012, defending champion Chanelle ‘History of Paper/Skin’ Scheepers returns to Guangzhou, along with Petra ‘Seth high Fuka’ Cetkovska, Bojana ‘Jovan Nuosi Ji’ Jovanovski and Laura ‘Robben Sen’ Robson. (Maybe Wayne Rooney was onto something?)
Best event of the year.
Filed under: ATP, Dramz, Gilles Simon, I'm not judging I'm just saying, Janko Tipsarevic
The new ATP Player’s Council, voted on by ATP Tour players, was announced before Wimbledon got underway on Monday. Those elected will serve two-year terms, expiring in June 2014.
1-50 Singles: Kevin Anderson, Roger Federer, Jarkko Nieminen, Gilles Simon
51-100 Singles: Robin Haase, Sergiy Stakhovsky
1-100 Doubles: Mahesh Bhupathi, Eric Butorac
At-Large: James Cerretani, Andre Sa
Alumni: Brian Gottfried
Coach: Claudio Pistolesi
Gilles Simon, currently ranked #13 in the world in singles, had this to say about his election.
“I have been on the Tour for a long time, and have learned a lot about tournaments and players. I have some ideas to share with the other players, and feel it is important for us to work together and make good decisions. Tennis is at the top and we want to continue to improve.”
bighead figurehead in a governing body that is in no real position of power, Simon seems to feel that has given him carte blanche to say what he wants. Because god knows, his tennis doesn’t.
In an interview translated from the French Huffington Post, Simon feels that “equal prize money has no place in tennis,” and “that we provide a more attractive spectacle.”
“We often speak of equality in wages. I think this is not something that works in sport…I think today men’s tennis is ahead of women’s tennis…[In a] Grand Slam, men spend twice as much time on the courts than women.”
Do I believe Simon has a right to express his opinion? Sure, he does. Do I believe he has the right to act high and mighty with demigod status purely because he is male? No. First of all, here’s my problem. The men play best of five sets a grand total of FOUR times each year, at the majors. The rest of the year, they slog it out in the same best of three set matches that the women do.
Secondly, the fact that Simon, of ALL the ATP players, is talking about tennis and aesthetics is laughable.
A 61-shot rally with no pace, no width of shot, no depth. Extremely high quality entertainment, that is.
Simon is not the first player to talk smack about the WTA, as Janko Tipsarevic has had that handled all by himself in recent years. Tipsarevic unleashed a diatribe at the WTA four years ago, stating:
“99% of male tennis players can’t stand women’s tennis. There’s no other sport with such a big disparity concerning level of play and the money women make. A friend of mine says that a woman who wins a Slam should only earn enough money to pay for her airplane ticket home. Who knows what else I would say if it wasn’t for Ana and Jelena whom I may consider friends. But of course, I appreciate the effort they’re putting into tennis, because I know they practise as hard as I do. [...] The way women think on court cannot be compared to men. Their only strategy is ‘hit the ball where your opponent isn’t.’ Nothing more! No ‘Put more spin on the ball, this is an important point, play to her backhand’. No way! [...] It’s that such kind of tennis works today. Look at the Williams sisters, Sharapova or Ivanovic who hits the ball like a truck on steroids. I get a bit critical when I see how much the women earn and how their opening rounds go. That’s what irritates me the most, I feel like going to WTA HQ and *something* all of them. Look at Federer who is so dominant, he has to work so hard to beat a Staracce or an Almagro, he may even lose a set and then look at Sharapova or Ivanovic who lose 3 games in the first 4 rounds. It makes me sick”.
Roger Federer defeated his first opponent at Wimbledon 61 61 61 and Andy Murray’s first round lasted 95 minutes; Vera Zvonareva’s opening match lasted 138 minutes over two days, and American Christina McHale defeated Great Britain’s Johanna Konta 10-8 in the third set. Clearly, Federer and Murray should be forced to take pay cuts for that lack of quality and competitiveness.
I firmly believe the ATP Player’s Council should be concerned with….the matters of ATP players. Is that so radical? Lower ranked players on the ATP can barely make a living, as we learned from (ex-ATP Council member) Sergiy Stakhovsky’s explosive interview earlier this year. In a year when we are celebrating 40 years of Title IX in the United States, it’s sad to see the amount of close-mindedness that still exists regarding female athletes by their male counterparts. The ATP is currently dominated by three men and clearly there’s some bitterness towards the inability to reach that pinnacle from some of the others.
Filed under: Andy Roddick, ATP, I'm not judging I'm just saying, Ivan Ljubicic, John Isner, Mardy Fish, Ryan Harrison
Of all tennis players on the short list to cause controversy, Ivan Ljubicic would not be one to ping on the radar. Ljubicic, long respected by his peers, was an active member of the ATP Player’s Council beginning in 2002 who was elected Vice President from 2004-06 and President from 2006-08. In August 2008, he was elected as European player representative on ATP Board. Since retiring earlier this year however, Ljubicic has become a somewhat keyboard warrior. He has not hesitated to criticize the current goings on in professional tennis.
When he took to Twitter over the weekend to criticize the “absences” of top Americans from the clay court ATP Masters Series events in Monte Carlo, Madrid and Rome, Ljubicic got much more than he bargained for.
Mardy Fish, ranked #9 on the ATP, has been sidelined since Houston with an illness that forced him out of Davis Cup, Madrid and Rome. Andy Roddick has been nursing a recurring hamstring injury since the Australian Open and a hip injury since Miami.
Needless to say, Ljubicic touched a nerve. John Isner was first to come to the defense of his friend and countryman Fish.
Mardy Fish probably wishes he thought a little bit more before pressing that tweet button.
Although Fish deleted his Tweet immediately, we all know everything is forever immortalized on the Internet. Just ask Donald Young.
Andy Roddick finally weighed in on Sunday.
While American men have a history of underperforming and withdrawing from clay events in recent years, Ljubicic should have done his homework this time around. Roddick and Fish have been the only two notable American absentees, and John Isner, Ryan Harrison and Donald Young have all made the trip to compete on the European clay.
Late Sunday night, Ljubicic tried to rectify matters.
In an Olympic year, it’s understandable that players want to be healthy to peak at the right time to have success in the biggest events. While Roddick, Fish and James Blake have all had a history of lackluster and listless clay court performances over the years, 2012 proves to be a year when they actually can’t compete, rather than one when they just won’t.
Filed under: ATP, Feliciano Lopez, I'm not judging I'm just saying, Juan Ignacio Chela, WTA
Juan Ignacio Chela is one of the latest marginally irrelevant ATP players to take swipes at the WTA (I’m looking at you, Janko Tipsarevic). Chela took to his Twitter feed (@JuanIChela) yesterday, taking swipes at the WTA supposedly in the name of fun and jest.
1. Al terminar el partido saludar como miss mundo. -> When the match is over, wave at the crowd like Miss Universe.
2. A partir de 4tos de final entrar maquillada a la cancha. -> As soon as you reach the quarters, enter the court with makeup on.
3. Cuando entra el coach a la cancha y te habla mirar para el otro lado. -> When your coach arrives for on-court coaching, look in the other direction.
4. Mantener el grito al impactar por encima de 1500 decibelios. -> Keep the grunting above 1,500 decibels.
5. Darle la espalda a la cancha antes de sacar y acomodar la cuerda 20 segundos. -> Turn your back at the court before taking out your racquet then adjust the strings for 20 seconds.
6. Nunca entrenar con otra WTA player. -> Never practice with another WTA player.
7. Odiar a todas tus colegas. -> Hate your colleagues.
8. Fundamental colgar algun peluche en el raquetero. -> It’s fundamental to have some stuffed animal in your racquet bag.
9. Es clave generar 100 milimetros de lagrimas dia por medio. -> It’s paramount to produce an average of 100 millimeters of tears per day.
10. Que en alguna etapa de tu carrera te agarre un ataque de acne. -> That at any moment in your career, you get to face acne.
As if that wasn’t enough, after declaring Chela “his idol”, Feliciano Lopez (@feliciano_lopez) joined in.
1. @JuanIChela Que tu sparring te deje ganar o de lo contrario morritos durante una semana.. -> Your sparring partner lets you win or you pout for a week.2. @JuanIChela Que tu madre te acompañe al 90 por ciento de los torneos.. -> Your mother is with you for 90% of tournaments.
I am the only one who finds the irony here? First off, these two probably spend more time in front of a mirror than half the WTA. The quotes aren’t funny, playing at typical feminine stereotypes. Gisela Dulko (@gidulko) Chela’s countrywoman, was quick to point out that while some elite WTA players behave in such a matter, there’s a difference between them and the rest of the WTA.
Well, I give them credit for one thing. Unlike most of the ATP, at least they watch women’s tennis.
Filed under: Caroline Wozniacki, I'm not judging I'm just saying, Piotr Wozniacki, WTA
Caroline Wozniacki has fallen from World #1 to World #6 in a span of three months. She has not reached a final in 2012. Heading into what is historically the weakest portion of her season, the Wozniacki camp would have a general reason to be concerned. Or maybe not.
Wozniacki’s father and coach, Piotr had this to say about his daughter’s 61 62 drubbing at the hands of Angelique Kerber in the 2nd round of Stuttgart.
“It is a special base in Stuttgart, and it’s not something she is so accustomed to. The German girls have a big advantage at the very base, because they play Fed Cup and trainer on it. Therefore, they are favorites, when on the ground, for it is very, very difficult to play,” says Piotr Wozniacki.
Piotr’s logic might actually make sense if…nope. Maria Sharapova beat Victoria Azarenka in the Stuttgart final. Neither of them are German nor played in the Fed Cup tie between Germany and Australia the weekend before the tournament. Azarenka defeated two German players, Andrea Petkovic and Mona Barthel en route to the final. Semifinalists Agnieszka Radwanska and Petra Kvitova and Polish and Czech respectively, and still performed well in the tournament.
Wozniacki lost in Stuttgart for one reason only. Kerber knew exactly how to play her; she played with consistent, controlled agression and sustained a level that Wozniacki is incapable of reaching. For the 67 weeks she was #1 in the world, Wozniacki prided herself on out-steadying her opponents – forcing them to hit one more ball, which they would miss without fail. Players have finally cracked the secret to playing Wozniacki, and now her self-confidence has taken a hit. Her opponents can expect more unforced errors off the Dane’s racket than they did before; her “air of invincibility” has evaporated. They don’t need to be perfect to win, they only need to be solid and take advantage of opportunities.
The two main warmup events in Madrid and Rome remain on the road to Roland Garros. Piotr had this to say about his daughter’s upcoming participation in the Mutua Madrileña Madrid Open.
“She is strong at the moment and if you ask me, so I think she wins the tournament,” said Wozniacki.
Wozniacki’s career record in Madrid is 8-3; however, in her past two trips there she has lost in the second round in 2010 (l. to A. Bondarenko) and in the third round last year (l. to Goerges).
As it has so often been the case with Wozniacki in the past, there is no consideration of the bigger picture. While Piotr says “their” main focus is the Grand Slams, the fact remains Wozniacki has not realistically challenged for a major title in over a year. One has to wonder what exactly he’s doing to fix it.
Filed under: Caroline Wozniacki, I'm not judging I'm just saying, Off Court Shenanigans, Uncategorized, WTA
Remember when I told you about Caroline Wozniacki’s recent transformation into musical genius? The music video for Wozniacki’s single, “Oxygen” has finally arrived. Experience the magic.
….I don’t get it either. I wonder what Kanye West would have to say about this?
Filed under: Caroline Wozniacki, I'm not judging I'm just saying, Off Court Shenanigans, Uncategorized, WTA
“It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday! Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend! Partying, partying yeah! Partying, part-
Oh, it’s not Friday? ….It’s Tuesday. Will the real Rebecca Black please stand up?
Introducing “Oxygen” – the first recorded single by former WTA #1, and current world #6, Caroline Wozniacki. The heavily auto tuned single, recorded by Wozniacki for charity, was long speculated about but little information regarding it was released. Proceeds from the single will benefit Polish and Danish Paralympic teams.
“Wozniacki Single Gets Bageled” – Her (Wozniacki’s) debut single is a double fault…To no surprise, the song is neither avantgarde jazz nor death metal but rather dumb blonde pop. Completely hopeless and bereft of musicality…makes the star sound like Minnie Mouse after falling into a bucket of Bacardi Breezers.
In truth, the song isn’t THAT bad…except it is. It’s for a good cause, but let your ears be the judge. Wozniacki, ever the linguist, rivals the cereal-eating, hard partying tale of Ms. Black with poetic heartfelt lyrics including:
“You’re in the air so I can keep on breathing, breathing. You know exactly how to keep my world spinning, spinning. Won’t let you go, boy don’t you know you are the air I breathe, the air I need.”
Rebecca Black, meet Caroline Wozniacki. You two might have more in common than you think. The video for the song is to be recorded in the upcoming weeks. For Wozniacki’s sake, let’s just hope she finds a car with enough seats.